Tahmena Bokhari has always been about social change.
Now, after being crowned Mrs. Pakistan World 2010, she sees herself in a better position than ever to affect change.
“When I put the crown on it felt like something that was very political for me,” the Vaughan resident said. “So there was a mix — I felt excited, but I also felt that there’s a very big responsibility.
“I’m no longer just me, I’m representing something much larger than myself: I’m representing women, I’m representing Pakistan.”
The worldwide competition never been held in Pakistan. Bokhari is the fourth woman to earn the title.
Unlike most pageants, this one has no stage portion, so is mostly based on the contestants’ personalities. This was something that Bokhari — a social worker, activist, and professor — saw as an opportunity.
“I certainly don’t see myself as a typical beauty queen by any means,” she said. “It was a very different path that got me here. I was at a time in my life …that I felt I needed to do something differently to create social change.”
Though the initial news of winning left her with different emotions, Bokhari says she knew exactly what it meant to her, and what she wanted to do.
“When I was informed I was the winner for 2010, I was surprised and excited, but I was also taken aback by thinking ‘Okay, now I have to get ready for the year ahead’,” she said. “It allowed me to act as a sort of pseudo-ambassador for Pakistan, and be able to speak on behalf of Pakistani women and Pakistani women’s issues.”
And those issues she knows very well. Though Bokhari was born and raised in Canada, she has spent much time in Pakistan. One of the things she wants to do now is show the world what the newsreels don’t.
“Growing up as a Pakistani in Canada, people didn’t know what Pakistan was. They thought it was the capital of India or something,” she said. “Now, since 9-11 my country’s been in the news every day, and for all the wrong reasons. That’s not my Pakistan, it’s not the Pakistan I know and love.
“Part of my objective is to showcase a new Pakistan, and showcase Pakistanis who are for that Pakistan.”
She cited Pakistan’s flourishing fashion scene as an example of a positive impact of Pakistani culture that very few people are aware of, even going as far as to say its lead designers are among the world’s best, like the Parisians and New Yorkers. But for all the good, there’s still the bad.
“Within Pakistan, everything’s going underground because people feel like they can’t speak out in public,” Bokhari said. “Having a safe place to have a discussion may not be as likely or as common as it is in Canada. So I would hate to see Canadians compromise that about ourselves.”
Canadians have the unique opportunity to challenge themselves in almost any forum by not shying away from embracing people’s differences, whether it’s lifestyle, politics, or religion, she says, citing events like Caribana and Pride.
“Part of the discussions I’ve had with people in my role as a pseudo-ambassador is we need to open up conversations,” Bokhari said. “We as a country like Canada — a first-world nation with all the privilege we have — should be a leader on how to sit down and have these conversations. We see around the world that communities and nations are struggling with having these conversations.”
And communication — without censorship — is the most powerful tool in bringing communities and nations together, she says.
“My grandmother told me when I was very young that the greatest asset is to be able to communicate with different people at different levels,” she said. “And I don’t think I understood what she meant at the time, but now that I’ve had these experiences in life, I’m as comfortable talking to someone who is homeless in Toronto or begging on the streets of Lahore, as I am talking to a head of state.”
Speaking about the importance of communication and her own privilege of being bi-cultural, Bokhari says the Mrs. Pakistan World title is opening doors to new ideas.
“It’s a tremendous opportunity for dialogue, and that’s the beauty of controversy,” she said. “When you don’t like something, or something offends you, or you’re threatened by something, that’s an opportunity to learn about yourself and learn about your own understanding of things, your own worldview, and to better it and to better yourself.”
And she’s not alone there. Bokhari says she has great support from her husband, who is entirely supportive of her goals and aspirations.
“Since I was given the title, he likes to call himself Mr. Pakistan,” she said, laughing. “But I truly do think that if I had to nominate someone for a Mr. Pakistan title, it would be him… He is a progressive thinker, he is working on himself and he is a support for women and the cause of women."
